Chutzpah and Chocolate Cake

Obama’s total foreign policy failures of the last eight years? Coming from you, that’s beyond chutzpah.Let’s review:

Kim Jung Un is surprising effective at goading you; Vladimir Putin, to whom you still love, admire, fear and to whom you owe lots of rubles, is swatting you and your gravitas away (and God knows about the 8 x 10s he has of you and urine-soaked Russian super models in a Vladivostok hotel) like a garden ant; Basar-al Assad is thumbing his murderous nose at your surgical strike on his abandoned airfield (the cake was good, though, huh?); the British Parliament won’t let you come speak; and you even applauded Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, who is now the world’s newest dictator, because, well, every country needs an authoritarian now and then to run the show.

All on your watch, ratings machine.

​And this doesn’t even take into account your embrace of Nigel Farage and Marine Le Pen, two noted neo-fascists, and the late Saddam Hussein, noted murderer, for their leadership, toughness and vision, your being a complete jackass with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and German Chancellor Angela Merkel, your overall dissing and cluelessness of NATO, your flip-flops on China, your inability to craft a immigration policy that isn’t a constitutional travesty, your proud ignorance of the nuclear triad, your peculiar affinity for saying the wrong thing about Jews every time the people and the faith come up, and — and — your insistence on building a wall between America and Mexico, which has as much chance of happening as does Melania mounting you in the presidential suite at the Kennedy Center during the road show of Hamilton — and you think you and your masterful handling of international affairs have exposed Obama’s failures.

Please.​If the first 90 days of your presidency prove anything, it’s that you’d have trouble winning a game of RISK with a cagey 8-year-old, even if you were spotted Yakutsk and Kamchatka.

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