FOTP Friday List for … June 16

Trump and Truth

We’re back to politics, thanks, mostly, to FOTP Special Adviser Michael Doane and his immense unhappiness with last week’s list.

As such, we give you

Questions You’d Ask Donald Trump If You Gave Him A Dose of Truth Serum Potent Enough To Yield Ten Answers

  1. Mr. President, your wife is now fucking your own security chief back at Trump Tower, you’re not a billionare, not even close, nobody really likes or respects you, and you know deep down that you will be the end of the American experiment. You will be blamed for that — you and you alone. So with all that in mind, how does it feel to know that history will see you as a fraud, a charlatan, a dimension-less soul, a man who’s both equally mocked and feared and humiliated by his wife, both here and abroad?
  2. Walk me through the Russian hookers urinating on you. So, you get there and what happens?
  3. Are you more scared of being indicted, impeached, or being seen in boxers and no shirt while Miss America Contestants tour Mar-A-Lago?
  4. Name 10 NATO countries and I’ll spot you France, England, and Germany.
  5. Jared fucking your daughter— how badly does that bother you? I mean, he’s a Jew, you want her … you know what I’m asking.
  6. How many abortions have you encouraged and/or paid for?
  7. What’s your favorite racist joke?
  8. So what is it that Putin has on you — and when was the last time he threatened to reveal it? Has he ever brought up Viktor Yushchenko and how he deals with those who cross him?
  9. That 13-year-old girl who accused you of rape — it’s true, isn’t it?
  10. Tell me what you really think of your supporters — the hardcore ones, the ones who think you care about them and want to be you.
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