Fuck you, Alex, and the performance artistry you rode in on

During the custody battle between Alex Jones and his ex-wife for their three children, his lawyers have maintained he shouldn’t be seen as a vile, unrepentant piece of real-life detritus, but merely a vile, unrepentant piece of performance-artist detritus.

Interesting distinction.

Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.”

A scumbag, perhaps, the thinking goes, but a great father — if you don’t count his demeanor in family therapy, the game of darts he played with his son that had a picture of Hillary Clinton as the bullseye, his unhinged railings against imaginary foes and SNL cast members, and his overall inhumanity and toxicity — so whatever you do, don’t take it out on the youngins.

As Shakespeare famously wrote in Henry IV, Part 2, The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers for Alex Jones.

Jones, who promoted — hell, poured gasoline, threw matches, and pounded the ground with pitchforks and torches — the unconscionable theory that the tragedy in Sandy Hook was a false flag operation and then sat by while his Michael Jackson-like Thriller cast of listeners harassed and threatened the parents of those murdered children, is now asking the media to be respectful of this very personal matter.

“I urge the press to be respectful and responsible and to show due deference to the process of the law and respect boundaries defined for this case so that a fair result can be found,” Jones said in a statement, according to Business Insider. “Above all this is a private matter.”

How is it some people don’t just implode from their own duplicity, distemper and douchebaggery and wind up a puddle of toxic residue on an abandoned street corner where rabid, scabrous dogs prowl? Alex Jones asking for respect and due deference is like Bill O’Reilly asking a loofah manufacturer for an endorsement deal.

Here’s Jones on President Obama’s children.

Jones jibed that she has been seen “shaking her ass on TV,” before adding, “The word is those aren’t even his kids.”

What a performance, huh?

But, alas, he’s right about this.

We should respect the privacy of it all — his kids’, particularly, who didn’t ask to be sired by such poisonous spermatozoa. He wouldn’t make such a distinction (hasn’t, in fact), but we, after all, are better than he is, which, arguably, isn’t tough to be.

This, too, though.

Jones, who believes the government has lined juice boxes with estrogen to turn boys into homosexuals, maintains Vince Foster and Antonin Scalia were murdered, and thinks Jennifer Lopez should be gang-raped in Somalia to teach her a lesson, still has his defenders.

“Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down.”

That was President Trump, by the way, another great father and prince of a guy.