“I took her out furniture shopping.”

Welcome to the new America — or maybe it’s always been here, lurking in the basements and garages and upstairs locked bedrooms, surrounded by ammo, confederate flags, dog-eared copies of Ann Coulter and Tim LaHaye books, stacks of discredited emails, and posters of Dale Earnhardt ​and Ronald Reagan, waiting breathlessly for a carnival barker, a nativist, along with a cadre of his minions (like those above) — half-cocked self-promoters of limited ability, posing and snarling — who would set things straight and then, when the time was right, invite this new America out to the light, to the front yard — to a barbecue of sorts — where it would be served pablum and hatred and be given hats and certitude and be pointed in the direction of The Others.

Or maybe, to hear its proponents, this new America is just about lost roofing jobs and email servers.

​“If you ever wanted to rob a trailer park, do it during a Kid Rock concert. When I hit town, the trailer parks empty out and everyone comes to the show” — Kid Rock

“We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hardworking, very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation” — Sarah Palin

“You probably can’t use the term `toxic cunt’ in your magazine, but that’s what she is. Her very existence insults the spirit of individualism in this country. This bitch is nothing but a two-bit whore for Fidel Castro” — Ted Nugent

It wasn’t the roofing jobs.
It wasn’t the emails.
It was the poison.

“You can’t be forever blessed” — Paul Simon (Not Pictured)

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