Newt Gingrich is a smart person’s idea of a schmuck

He has so much to teach us

Guess who wrote a book about Donald Trump?

I wrote “Understanding Trump” for the grassroots activists across the nation who are dedicated to holding Washington accountable and ensuring it once again serves the American people, instead of the big government, monied special interests and political influence peddlers.

The book, Understanding Trump, with a forward by Eric Trump (he is to the Trump family what Lance was to NYSNC), is for those, Gingrich maintains, angered when our new president — America’s last hope for survival — is criticized and not appreciated for his many sacrifices.

This book is for those fighting to repel the elite media offensive and those who want to know how they can better help President Trump drain the swamp and steer our country toward a much brighter, more prosperous future.

Still a hell of a swamp, if you ask me.

President Donald Trump’s team has been called the richest administration in modern American history, worth more than $12 billion.

Still, where most people see in Trump a man who is both arrogant and ignorant, someone who has chiseled his way to the presidency, joyously lying, bullying, and offending women, blacks, Latinos, Muslims, Jews, the disabled, war veterans, the judiciary, and the U.S. Constitution (and who is now handing over the keys, both sets, to Corporate America), Gingrich sees a man of grit and a common touch, a person of integrity and Reagan-like transcendence. Gingrich wrote the book, and he spends a lot of time explaining why he wrote the book, because like any great leader — Newt Gingrich, for instance — Trump so loves America, is so right for it, and so intelligent and cagey, he will gladly take the abuse and mockery, the constant doubts about his sincerity and intellect — in short, will put up with just about anything except taking actual questions from the White House press corps.

Finally, I wrote this book to help the millions of Americans who elected President Trump to understand him, as I understand him — as an incredibly smart, successful, passionate leader, who loves this country and sincerely wants to make it great again.

You had me at sincerely.

Let’s review for a moment.

Newt Gingrich, who recently said, “The president of the United States cannot obstruct justice” is the same Newt Gingrich who encouraged the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for — wait for it — obstructing justice. The same Newt Gingrich, who resigned from the United States House of Representatives after being charged with 84 ethics complaints, culminating in a $300,000 fine, now wants us to believe he has the legal stones (and integrity) to speak on the nuances of presidential power and the Get out of Jail Free card that resides in this — and only this — Oval Office. Next to the president’s own family, Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani, and two paid Russian hookers, nobody laps Trump as sycophantically as Gingrich.

He’s Billy Bush without the integrity.

Still, he loves the country so much, he’d fuck around on his wife for it — both of them actually.

“There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them.

At times? Slow learner.

Only a thrice-married, self-aggrandizing blowhard can fully understand, articulate, and promote the legacy of a thrice-married, self-aggrandizing blowhard.

Newt Gingrich gets Donald Trump.