How was dessert?

You, Don, are great, great man. Now, give me U.S.

Today in monumentally stupid news

So, a president who wouldn’t know Peter Alexeyevich from Peter Cetera is allowed to go into a meeting with Vladimir Putin and nobody from our side made a fuss, much less carried in a notebook and pulled up a stul.

Oh, wait, it wasn’t really, really a meeting. According to White House spokesperson Michael Anton, it was really more a matter of two guys and a nosh.

“A conversation over dessert should not be characterized as a meeting,” he said.

Kind of depends what your definition of is is.

The meeting, apparently, was attended only by Putin, Trump and — this is my favorite part — Putin’s translator.

Hey, what could go wrong there?

“Mr Bremmer said the meeting, which went ahead without Mr Trump’s own translator present, was a breach of national security protocol, though he added that it was one the president likely would not know about.

Hold up. Trump has his own translator? Shame he doesn’t know English.

And why wasn’t he there?

The US translator at the dinner — each country was only allowed only one — spoke Japanese, the White House said

Our gob is 殴られた

Other presidents have had secret meetings with world leaders, even with Soviets, but those presidents could usually find Vladivostok on a map and never had sons who said this:

We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.”

One can only imagine.

What Putin Said: 
"G-n Predsedatel', my khotim, chtoby SSHA v odnostoronnem poryadke razoruzhili" (Mr. President, we'd like US to unilaterally disarm)
What translator told Trump: 
"Mr. President, we have a gift but you must sign for it first ... here on this piece of paper."
How Trump replied: 
"Of course, of course. Here you go. Hope it's an expensive gift. I have great tastes, you know. The best tastes."
What translator told Putin (taking back signed document)
"Svyatoy trakh, etot paren' idiot" (Holy fuck, is this guy a moron!)
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